Booked in with the Midwife

Well I called in with the midwife yesterday, booked in.. Sure enough she has referred me to a consultant, diagnosis unit AND anesthesiologist.
Because sadly the twins resulted in a second caesarean the consultant will be pressuring me into a repeat caesarean.
He / she can pressure me all she / he wants. The Midwife can refer me all she wants too, I won't be going. I've been in that situation many a times before, bullied and pressured into doing what THEY want me to do. What's easiest for them etc.

I won't be going to the appointments (bar Midwife & scans)
I believe in my body, it's a shame they don't.

Because of my raised BMI the Midwife also wants me to have a GTT (glucose tolerance test) at 28 weeks. Since I refused yesterdays booking bloods she asked if I would let them do the GTT. I said, if there is glucose in my sample and any indications of GD (gestational diabetes) of course.

I am an educated woman who knows her rights and her own body. I don't agree to an unnecessary tests. Unfortunately for my midwife I know what's right and what's wrong. I can't and won't be pressured into anything.

Daddy will have to be tested to make 100% sure he does not have the same blood disorder trait as myself. 99% we should be okay because my blood disorder is RARE but it needs ruling out.

I won't lie, I am still in shock I have a baby inside me waiting to be born next year. I wasn't expecting it, heck - nor was my other half but I guess these things can be most beautiful when they are a lovely surprise. (D, if you're reading this, I'm still finding out the gender lol)

I have an ''Early Scan'' tomorrow in Swindon. I am a little over 8 ish weeks.
I have spent weeks really excited about the appointment, but unfortunately and this is new to me the Midwife documented all my miscarriages and made me go through it all again; regardless these things are on my medical records - for goodness sake.
It was incredibly hard and when she asked why I ''needed'' a caesarean for D (DS#1) I broke down in tears for a few minutes. I explained to the full of extent what I had been through but I also explained that his ''birth'' made me the woman I am today. It made me a strong woman, who believes in her body, knows her birthing rights, knows what's right and what's wrong.

Anyway, long story short - I am currently petrified of the early scan tomorrow. Bringing up all the miscarriages I suddenly remembered the purpose of this scan. I'd been focusing way too much on the 'Woo hoo we're going to see our baby' side of this scan. I'm now focusing on the real reason for the scan; to check the pregnancies viability.

I am hoping that since all my miscarriages have been very early on that I am now safe but you can't rule anything out.
I'm still a bit excited I can't deny it but I am more worried and scared of what we will see tomorrow.

As much as I love my twinnies, Please please please - let there be ONLY ONE in there. LOL!